angel_gidget: (TV: Morgana)
[personal profile] angel_gidget
Title: Jade
Rating: PG
Word Count 660 approx.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Tessa has some temptations that are unique to her.

A/N: A distraction for drawing which goes slow, slow, slow.

The jade is smooth and cool. It feels light, especially compared to her angel pendant, but because it fits closer to the neck, she's all the more aware of it. Or perhaps it's the way the others look and smile (Sophie) or double-take (Charlotte) or go silent (Will).

It has become a companion, as much as her angel, and every day it becomes a bit more hers. But as she quietly rubs at the stone, and deep knowing rings out from her center, reminder her that is still enough Jem's.

Tessa can't think of a single reason between Heaven and earth that she should even be so tempted as she is, but the thought lingers. One touch, one thought, one Change... and she could know so much.

It is wrong to think it. She knows it.

But it doesn't stop the question ringing between her ears.

What would it be like... to see as he sees?

Because Jem sees the world in a beautiful way. Not in poetry, but in possibilities. He can see through human imperfection as if it were the most flimsy veil, and display regard so unconditionally for the soul that burns beneath.

He knows when Will is honest, when he is lying, and when it does not matter.

And then there is the fact that she would suddenly know so much more of Will, and that is where the wrongness and the wanting collide all the harder.

Even as Tessa snatches her had away from her own neck, the thoughts do not fly away so quickly.

She would know so much more of Jem too.

Because as much as he has let her see of him--his heart, his dreams, his desire--there are some doors he will not open for her. He cannot bear to let her see him under the fever's fire. It is the most understandable thing in the world, because while Jem is not boastful in the least, he is not without pride.

But again and again she has begged him to let her help. And all too often it has been the one thing that will make him cast her away from him. Just for that evening, just for those hours.

Yet the more she talks to him, laughs with him, takes his hand, uses his proffered arm to draw him close, feels her heart melt inside her chest as his lips whisper private thoughts in her ear...

The more she refuses to believe that Jem--her Jem, not just Will's--is ever beyond her help.

There must be something. Just... something. To ease him. To comfort him. Even if he does not know it on the surface of his mind. Even if he is not comfortable enough with her yet to ask.

As her heels click on the Institute floor, she catches her reflection in the window, both pendants visible once more.

The jade is meant to represent spiritual healing; at least that's what Will's book said.

To take information not freely given is a betrayal of trust, and Tessa will not justify it.

Not even to know how to help him. Not even to better discern Will Herondale's paradoxical soul. Not even to view the world through the epitome of mortal eyes. Not even to feel their clasped hands, eager lips, and breathless sighs as he feels them.

Because Tessa can already seen through his eyes well enough. And in Jem's eyes, she is worthy of the utmost faith. Completely surefire, and a reflection of all that shines aside from the sun.

So when she enters the drawing room and and finally greets him, she takes his hand and meets his eyes.

He sees that she is troubled, his brow furrowing in tandem with the turbulence behind her eyes. But he does not ask, merely places his arm around her. Thin and light, yet strong and warm.

She lays her head upon his shoulder and vows that his smallest acts of love shall not be in vain.



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