angel_gidget | Fanmix [TID]: Mizpah

Medium: Book
Fandom: The Mortal Instruments
Subject: A Jem Carstairs/Tessa Gray fanmix
Title: Mizpah
Warnings: SPOILERS for Clockwork Prince
Notes: More of a fic-mix technically. Done largely for the benefit of some insistent fangirls over on tumblr, and for a fanfic challenge.

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{1} PARADISE by Coldplay.

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth.
...
And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She'd say "oh, oh oh... I know the sun must set to rise."

{{Gray | As a little girl--and even as a big one--Tessa dreamed of living the adventure of her novels... but the reality was so much harsher than her dreams, so she surprised herself when she proved strong enough to withstand it. }}

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{2} DANCE ON OUR GRAVES by The Paper Route

My body shivers and aches. I can't break free.
Why do the things I hate come so naturally?
...
I need you now. I need you more than ever before.
...
When we see the light, when we're going home.
We'll dance on our graves with our bodies below.

{{Mortality | Jem made his peace with dying a long time ago. It was the living that tormented him. The shame of frailty, of addiction, of limitation... and no *time* to escape it, to rise above. He wanted love. He wanted true living, even if he had little time in which to do it. But if he could not have these things... he would at least have dignity. }}

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{3} YOU DON'T SEE ME by Josie & The Pussycats

I dream of fire when you're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke when i turn on the light
I'm speechless and faded
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends--
Nothing but good friends?

{{Platonic | Jem thinks that if Will liked a girl, he would probably simply kiss her. And then be smacked for his trouble and left to rot. So with neither appropriate map nor guide, Jem attempts the nebulous jungles of courtship alone. Flirtation is enchanting. Outings are a delight. And Tessa is the light that makes it all so.

But certainty is elusive. Reciprocation uncertain. And each moment she reaches toward him, only to lay the back of her hand against his brow, he feels the tip of a knife scratching beneath the skin of his chest. Tiny, shallow cuts. The sort that cannot be bandaged or alleviated, only endured till the very end.}}

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{4} IN MY ARMS by Plumb

My heart is torn just in knowing
You'll someday see the truth from lies
When the clouds will rage
And storms will race in, but you will be safe in my arms.
Rains will pour down, waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

{{Boadicea | As a child, Tessa once sheltered an injured bluejay from a storm. The small lovely thing stilled and started in her grasp, making desperate chirping noises that she tried in vain to shush, praying they would not wake her aunt two rooms away.

When she draws her fingers from Jem's hair down to his neck, she feels that feverish, maddening pulse that reminds her of delicate wings beating in her cradled hands. But Tessa is no child now. She is no mere human either. She is a warrior beneath the glass, and she swears that his heart in her hands shall know nothing but happiness.}}

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{5} SUNSET by Kate Bush

Every sleepy light
Must say goodbye
To day before it dies
...
Keep us close to your heart
So if the skies turn dark
We may live on in
Comets and stars

{{Ouroboros | He told her he was useless at poetry, but she almost inspired him to attempt it. But Jem didn't understand. The concepts--the future dreams he whispered in her ear--thoughts of reincarnation... The looping infinity of seeking, finding and loving anew... was everything poetry aspired to be. }}

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{6} SECRET SMILE by Semisonic

Nobody knows it, but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling of sadness
And soothe me. Improve me.
...
You can save me from madness

{{Sunrise | To Tessa, Jem was Jem and his smile was his smile. And it was beautiful. It was Will--and occasionally the others--who were left to behold the truth: a never-beheld joy poured out from those eyes, and though the force of it was manifest for all to see, there was only one who could summon it.}}

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